Amenah Roqaya Alonto...Rema

Rema. Remzkhy. Rems. Kaka Rem to me.

She was my sister. Was. Is.

She died last March 12, 2007. She was 33 years old. She died in Saudi Arabia.I was driving to Alabang from Bataan when I got the call. It was 4am. And I endured the 3-4hour drive knowing that I would not see my sister anymore. And I struggled to make it to my office to file a bereavement leave.

Since 1991, she would only be in the Philippines for vacations and elections, save for the time her husband was assigned back in the country for about 2 years straight. The last time I saw her children was when they were 4 and 2 years old. Those boys are now 13 and 11, respectively.

"My sister Remah is dead". That was basically the text message I sent to people to inform them of their death. It's been more than a month and it still has not fully registered. This is why I'm blogging about this. The other night, I dreamt of her that I was at her bedside in the hospital... I asked for forgiveness... and she replied "I give you a thousand forgiveness" (that's my best translation; it's a saying in our Maranaw dialect of forgiving someone). I don't know if it was her communicating to me...or my guilt knowing that I was an absent brother...

My sister Remah is dead. I still can't believe I am saying this.

She was 33 years old. Loving mother. Dedicated wife. Obedient daughter. Giving sister. Incredible Auntie. Mindful relative. But more importantly, in this day and age, one of the most faithful and practicing Muslims I know.

She was diagnosed with Adult STILS disease about 2-3 years ago; it's a rhuematoid illness much similar to Lupus. But it was Pneumonia that killed her. She contracted the virus while visiting relatives in Saudi (in hospitals) eventhough she was advised not to. Mindful relative... that is an understatement.

I miss her terribly. When my brother and I were asked to stay in South Carolina in 1988 for 2years, she stayed along with us in 1989 and gave up a year of education to watch over us. Obedient daughter. Giving sister. All understatements.

She was also a poet. Maybe I'll post her poems someday.

She was a million things. But the only thing that stands out right now is she is dead.

The last time I saw her was around February or March of 2006... I brought her to the international airport. She visited us and stayed for more than a month in the country with dozens of check-ups and even being confined in the hospital. But I was lucky to have brought her to the airport along with my parents and my children. And she was smiling, and crying, the whole time. Had I known it was the last time I would see her I would have asked her to stay longer. I would have told her I love her and thanked her for all the good she brought to my life and that of my wife and children. But we never know these things; we will never know when our last flight out will be. And truly God is All-Wise.

These are but random statements for my sister, Remah, who I truly miss and love. She will always be in my prayers. For those who read about this, know that Remah was kind, brave, and loving. And I thank Allah s.w.t for being blessed to be her brother.